


We Don't Know When To Quit

by MyChemicalEnd



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of suicide and suicide attempt, Platonic Romance, Self-Harm, Unrequited Love, Upset Patrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:50:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1866927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChemicalEnd/pseuds/MyChemicalEnd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick is trying to get over a recent suicide attempt, but Pete refuses to stop asking questions regarding the incident, leading Patrick to isolate himself internally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Don't Know When To Quit

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Choking On Their Halos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1681049) by [Synnerxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx). 



> WARNING: MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME. READ TAGS.
> 
> This is also the first thing I have written in months, so please bear that in mind.  
> I DO NOT OWN CHARACTERS NOR DO I OWN THE ORIGINAL WORK I USED AS INSPIRATION.
> 
> (This is also completely unbeta'd and was written in an hour, so I apologise in advance.)

Patrick looked down at the vertical fading scars on his wrists, rubbing them gently before pulling the sleeves of his hoodie back down over them.

“Trick? You okay?”

Patrick’s head shot up to see Pete standing over him, nervously twisting his hands in front of him. Patrick nodded quickly, refusing to make eye-contact.

Pete sighed and kneeled in front of where Patrick was sitting crossed-legged on the couch, taking one of his best friend’s hands in his own.

“Hey, Patrick? You can speak to me, y’know.”

Again, Patrick nodded, still avoiding Pete’s gaze.

Pete hated how timid and reserved Patrick had become over the last few weeks, although, he supposed, that it was partially his fault. At the same time, he knew it wasn’t his fault at all. It couldn’t be his fault that he wasn’t attracted to Patrick in that way.

“I’m fine,” Patrick mumbled.

“Bullshit, dude.”

Patrick pulled his hand away and started to pick at non-existing threads on his jeans.

“Patrick, I just want you to talk to me; as in, a proper conversation. I’m meant to be your best friend; you’re meant to tell me when you feel like shit.”

Patrick’s eyes darted back up to see the anger burning in Pete’s eyes.

“You laughed at me.”

Patrick frowned.

“You laughed, because of something I can’t help.”

Patrick’s face fell. Pete’s heart broke anew as he recognised the vulnerable look of the younger’s face from the hospital.

“I know. I know, Trick, and I couldn’t apologise enough.”

Patrick sat silently and continued to pick at the bottoms of his jean-legs.

Pete stared silently at his best friend, hoping that he would be rewarded with a small, hollow ‘I forgive you’.

No such luck came his way, and unfortunately Patrick stood up before he could say anything else. Pete shot him a puzzled look, before he noticed tears on his cheeks. Pete decided he wasn’t going to comment, as it would probably mean Patrick running out of the house and hiding in his car again.

Pete watched as Patrick tiredly trudged himself up the stairs to his room.

**********

Patrick curled up in his bed, pulling the covers all the way up over his head and let out a muffled sob into the mattress. He didn’t want to be here. In this house, in this city, or even alive. He knew he’d fucked up. If he hadn’t of written that note and just put a simple goodbye, he would’ve been dead by the time Pete had found him.

Patrick never thought he’d regret writing something, but here he was. If he was dead, he wouldn’t have had to see his mom’s reaction to seeing her baby boy lying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires carrying blood and fluids into his body; wouldn’t have had to see Joe crying on Andy’s shoulder, see Kevin staring at him with watery eyes.

Above all, he wouldn’t have to see Pete look at him every day as if he’d just threatened to kill his dog. All Pete wanted to know was ‘why’. Why had he done it? Why had he decided it was the ‘right’ time. Why did he expect everyone to be totally fine with it? Why had he thought that Pete didn’t care?

Patrick’s couldn’t hold back his tears as he wailed into his pillow. He regretted it, but not because he realised how much he meant to everyone; because he’d hurt everyone he’d cared about, along with the many nameless faces that he’d seen in the crowds.

He didn’t hear the door open, or the footsteps that brought Pete to the edge of the bed. He’d been able to hear Patrick’s heart-breaking sobs in the living room. He may not have loved Patrick in the way Patrick loved him, but he still loved him as his best friend.

Pete didn’t bother with words; he knew Patrick either wouldn’t answer and ignore him completely or would tell him to go away. He just lifted the covers off of him, and pulled him against his chest, whispering apologies into the strawberry blonde hair. Patrick flinched the second he felt movement behind him, and his crying grew quieter with every muffled word that Pete said.

“Pete?” Patrick sniffed.

“I mean it, I’m so sorry Patrick. I didn’t know how it made you feel and I wish I could go back and just –,” Patrick silenced the rushed confession by pressing his lips to his friend’s.

“I forgive you,” he muttered against Pete’s lips.

Pete was so stunned by the action that he didn’t move away in the least. Just as he was about to speak, Patrick butted in.

“I know you don’t like me like that, but I love you Pete. I’m sorry for everything, and I forgive you. I promise you and everyone else that I won’t try it again, even though I don’t want to be here. I promise. Just promise me that you’ll stop blaming yourself entirely.”

Pete gazed at the tear-stained face and shining baby-blues and nodded.

“I promise,” he whispered.

Patrick turned around and lay his head on Pete’s chest, listening to the regular beating of his heart and closed his eyes. He may not have Pete as his plus one, but he did have him as his rock in a storm. And for that, Patrick was eternally grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> If you can think of any other tags I need to add, please tell me.  
> As always, I welcome with open arms, constructive criticism and comments.  
> xoMCE
> 
> P.S. - (This was written as a very unofficial ending (?) to another fanwork, but is not intended to be a sequel to it. I've tried to stick to plot lines and events mentioned in the original, for it to flow and make sense.)


End file.
